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Last year I wrote this post about setting New Year goals/resolutions and actually sticking to them. It’s a great post, but looking back I’ve realized my perspective has changed.
A lot of those changes have come throughout my journey of self-improvement. I read a lot of online articles. On of my favorite writers is James Clear and he has tons of amazing posts about habits.
I would consider myself a pretty motivated person, but motivation is crap. Motivation is temporary. You can’t rely solely on motivation because there is no way that anyone is motivated every day and every minute of their life. What it really comes down to is habit.
What you do day in and day out is key to reaching your goals. These are your non-negotiables. Habits take time though. Good/positive habits take more time to form and they’re easier to give up while bad/negative habits are the exact opposite.
You can set lofty goals with every intention to succeed and all the desire in the world, but if your habits and actions don’t match that you probably won’t get very far.
Us humans love instant satisfaction. This is why we take naps rather than finishing that assignment that’s due next week. This is why we eat 10 cookies even though we’re trying to lose weight. This is why we scroll through Instagram before bed instead of reading a book. That’s why we hit snooze 10 times rather than waking up right away.
In the moment those things are fulfilling and gratifying, yet we don’t realize how those little things impact our future.
That 2 hour nap you took instead of finishing your assignment? Well the due date is here and you never got around to finishing it. An emergency came up, you worked, other things got in the way, etc. Now your grade/career is impacted.
Those 10 cookies you ate? Caused a whole day of eating junk, which turned into a whole week of eating junk, and eventually most days you ended up eating like trash. 2 months later you’ve gained 7 pounds rather than losing the 5 that you wanted to.
Scrolling through Instagram at night? How is that benefitting your future? Are you now feeling jealous of other people’s lives or bodies? Wouldn’t an inspiring book put positive subconscious thoughts into your mind before bed and help you wake up fresh with ideas and motivation?
It sure feels great to snooze an extra 15-20 minutes every morning, but you’ve just subconsciously told yourself that your life isn’t worth getting up for. You’re creating a reactive/negative mindset every. single. morning of your life. You just set your standard for life and I’ll tell you right now it’s not very high.
It’s easy to say and think that things will be better next year. I’m guilty of it too. Time is on no ones side, and the older I get the faster the years seem to go by (and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way). So, absolutely set some goals for the New Year, but don’t expect anything if you’re not taking action.
How do you develop a habit?
Just do it
I hate to say it but I just did. Just do it. There’s no secret to positive habits or building your dream life. It’s just a matter of starting and taking action. There’s a quote on the front door of my gym that says, “Just showing up is half the battle.” This goes for everything. I mean seriously think about it. You walk into the gym…you’re there…what else would you do other than go work out?!? Just start, just show up every single day.
You have to really want it
Just about everything in life has to be earned, things aren’t just given to us without some form of sacrifice. If you’re putting in the work, if you’re dedicated, if you have developed a habit toward your goal YOU WILL reach it. If you’re doing everything it takes to get there it will eventually come, just keep going and remain patient. If you’re not reaching those goal, but you know you could do more to improve, you really don’t want it bad enough.
You probably do want it really bad, but those instant gratifications are getting in your way. If you really want something you will do what it takes to get there, the journey is different for everyone. That’s the thing, self-development takes time and it’s never too late to start making changes!
I’ve heard it takes about 30-90 days to develop a habit. Whatever the number is just know that it takes time. Having a visual of your habit can be really beneficial, try the Seinfield method where you put an X over everyday that you “do” your habit. It forms a chain and it’s gonna feel really horrible to break that chain. No one is perfect and you’ll likely miss a day or 2, but don’t miss more than 3 days in a row. Just jump right back into it and continue.
I’ve also come to realize that positive habits, The Law of Attraction, and self-development requires a lot of self-talk. I constantly “speak” to myself in my head and sometimes out loud. Some days you just have to look in the mirror and say “It’s ok, I’m going to do x, y, and z and it’s going to be a great day.” Negative thoughts creep into everyone’s mind, procrastination is something everyone deals with, it’s how you react to and handle them that ultimately defines you. Just keep going!!
2017 has easily been the worse year of my whole life, so I’m quite eager for 2018 to begin. However, I’m grateful for the struggles I went through, because it has shaped me and made me stronger. There were also many positive things that came into my life in 2017, so I can’t discredit that! Life is what we make it, and unfortunately this past year I attracted negative energy into mine. I will continue to get better and manifest greatness! I wish the same to all of you!