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From compassion to self-control, these are the characteristics I have noticed many of my peers and people I interact with lack. I think this world could benefit from some improvements in these areas! --www.LivinglikeLeila.com--

The more I go through life, the more I experience, the more I’m grateful for who I am. I’m not perfect, I know that, I’m not even close. However, I am very different from people I am surrounded by, something that has become more and more obvious.

Sometimes this world becomes too much for me, too much negative, not enough positive. Things would be a lot better if people started developing better characteristics and habits. These are the main characteristics I have noticed that people I interact with do not have. Hopefully these don’t apply to you, but if so maybe it’s time for some improvement 🙂

1. Consideration for others

I see and experience this everyday…at the gym, at work, at the grocery store, you name it. I hate the idea of, “It’s not my job, why should I do it?” or “Everyone else does it so I do too.” I’ve always been a stickler about doing the right thing, especially when it effects someone else, which it probably does. It’s about having respect for others (yes, even if you feel they don’t respect you), helping others when you can (yes, even if it’s “not your job”), and thinking about how you would feel if the same was done to you.

Do you leave your table a disgusting mess at a restaurant because it’s “not your responsibility to clean it anyway,” but you get angry when someone returns your vacuum (random example) all sticky and dirty?

More examples:
-Put your cart up at the grocery store (Have you ever heard of WIND?!? Yup carts roll…right into parked cars)
-Wipe your sweat off the equipment at the gym
-Put items back WHERE YOU GOT THEM FROM (grocery items, other people’s things)
-Don’t litter, don’t throw food/gum from the car window (it attracts critters from the woods and in turn they get run over)
-Don’t get angry with a server that your food is taking too long (it’s probably not their fault, and you’ll just make them upset)

It’s just laziness and again lack of consideration for others.

How to be more considerate:
-Pay attention to people’s feelings
-Think about how you would feel if you were in their shoes
-Do the right thing, even if it takes more effort

2. Self-control

According to the CDC, more than one-third of adults in America are obese. Similarly, about one-third of people cheat on their significant other…the numbers I could find for this varied, I also believe it is much higher than that.

What am I getting at? Self-control…something those people are likely lacking.

This can go for many things…think of how many people get way too drunk every weekend, how many stupid fist fights occur because people can’t shut their mouth, or how much credit card debt Americans have racked up. This list could go on and on.

How to have more self-control:
-Think before you act/say
-Make a habit of looking into the future, not just the now (How will your decision effect your future?)

3. Desire to improve

I love self-improvement…I believe everyone has room for growth and there’s so much knowledge in the world for us to soak up. Unfortunately, many people are okay with who they are. I’m not saying don’t love yourself, but you most definitely have room to improve.

How to improve yourself:
-Read as many self-development books as you can
-Learn (go back to school, get certified in something, check out udemy)
-Meditate
-Listen to podcasts and motivational speeches while you drive, cook, clean the house, etc.
-Don’t be lazy, self-improvement requires action and dedication

4. Basic manners

Do you know how many times I go out of the way to hold the door for people, then they walk through and I don’t even get a simple thank you? Do you know how many times people reach right across my face at the grocery store and say nothing?? Way too many times. It’s not difficult to be polite.

How to be polite:
-Say excuse me, please, thank you, etc.
-Let a car go first for once

5. Compassion

You can be compassionate in many ways, but as a vegan I can see/feel the lack of compassion even more so. I can’t even tell you how many times people have mocked me as a vegan with things like, “Mmmm steak,” “Mmmm this big juicy cow tastes so good.” Like okay?!? What is your problem? That’s not only lack of compassion for animals, but lack of compassion for someone’s belief and morals.

Same goes for people who can bully/watch someone get bullied and not say anything.

For myself, I put myself into someone else’s shoes, I attempt to understand how they’re feeling. I don’t like to make others feel embarrassed or stupid. I also don’t let other’s suffer because of my desires (I’m vegan, so no animals are killed/hurt for what I consume).

How to be compassionate:
-Educate yourself
-Speak up for what you believe in
-Display empathy and care
-Do the right thing, even if it’s not the “norm”

6. Paying attention

The more technology advances the more human brain function decreases. We’re constantly stimulated and distracted by our smartphones, even while hanging with friends, one on one interactions, and sitting in class. People try to listen to someone, while simultaneously scrolling through their Instagram feed, it doesn’t really work.

There is an increasing trend of school children with “ADD” and “ADHD.” In some cases, sure there may be some chemical imbalance or brain problem, but what about their (your) diet and technology use? I’m not sure why people can’t see the correlation.

How to pay more attention:
-Get OFF your phone, especially when someone is talking to you
-Use your phone/technology less in general
-Quit watching so much tv, read a book instead, get outside
-Take notes about whatever you’re trying to focus on
-Eat better foods, especially if you are pregnant (to prevent these deficiencies in your child)

7. Awareness/Mindfulness

It happens to the best of us, mindless mistakes while doing something important. It takes some work to be mindful, but it definitely pays off. It’s amazing what our minds can do and what we can convince it to believe and feel. Bring your attention internally, it’s pretty incredible what you can experience once you get a hang of it.

How to be more mindful:
-Meditate
-Be patient
-Don’t react quickly
-Watch your surroundings, don’t be oblivious to those around you
-Feel deeply, focus on whatever it is you’re doing at the moment (this is especially important in relationships)

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